As we come to a close on another chapter....
Photo from google images
I will look back at the year of 2015 as the weirdest year in my life with a lot of ups and downs, which is common with life. But I had a lot moments to reflect on somethings, at the top of the year I had to do a 24hour hospital stay. Which was exactly a week before the tenth anniversary of my mother passing, so imagine what those thoughts was like.
Those thoughts set the tone for rest of the year so far, it made me understand that focusing on being healthy has to be a major priority. It should have been always the case, but you live and you learn. Have I stumbled along the way into becoming healthy? Yes and it is a long road ahead of me and I am on it and don't plan on getting off it no time soon.
Spring time I got a promotion at my current place of employment and was in the position for almost six months. All I can say is be careful in what you ask for! I thought I was prepared, I was having a hard time with keeping up with the pace of the my daily work load and staying late nights and getting in trouble, ending up on written warning and on my way to a final warning.
Ain't nobody got time for that, so I made the choice and was able to demote myself back into my old position, had to take a pay cut and give up on my sat and sun . Don't cry for me. I am working due to the lord grace, but my growth has stunted tremendously in this company since I went back ro my old position. My personal growth has been in the fore front of my daily thoughts and to work on my passion and make my dreams come true.
Later on in the summer, a long time friendship has faded away, due to my friend or former friend ( not quite sure where we stand) stating I made a comment to a mutual colleague and it made her feel weird. What did I say? I am not sure, I ask my colleague what I said and she don't know or recall me ever saying anything negative about the "friend".
So I ask my "friend" what was it I supposedly said to make her feel weird? and also followed up with after twenty one years of knowing me, if I said something to make you feel a certain way, why not pull me to the side and speak up on it?
The response I got was "somethings don't need to be acknowledged" right now at this moment I don't know what I said and I damn sure not apologizing. To many times in my life I have catered to other people and their feelings, held my tongue and watched what I said to make sure the next person felt comfortable. I cannot and will no longer do that anymore.
When It has been times where this same person has said things, that made me feel low, embarrassed and severely angry to the point where I almost put my fist threw a wall. But I let it slide, because at the end of day I am a humble woman. I understand that with some people their personality enables to them to say certain things to people without a filter; Because ignorance is bliss for sum folks.
And to sum things up as far the friendship, like the pastor said in church over the summer "those from your past might not make it to your future" And I think on that day God delivered that message through the pastor for me to hear. I was slowly being prepared for it, but when you know something is going to end you are never prepared for it no matter how much you say you are.
Something I never really talk about much on this blog is my love life, because it don't exist, DOA, see you next time, gone fishing, just a vacancy love don't live anymore. I been patient and been told oh he is coming just give it time. Now let's not get it twisted, I am not out here singing that same tired ass song "I need a man, where are the brothers and they cousins at?"
I tried the online thing again chatted with a few gentlemen but nothing serious, hung out with a fella and it was cool. Back to the drawing board, it just that the thought of trying to date in this century is exhausting, even just testing the waters, makes me tired. I'm like a semi millennial so i get the Netflix and chill treatment like the rest of them.
Once again ain't nobody got time for that bruh, so I guess on the laundry list going into next year, I have to put myself out there more. Stay tune on that one, in the meantime to prince charming or my knight in shining armor, hell even the guy sitting online right now waiting for the announcement of when the next pair of yeezey's is coming out. I have been waiting at the docks staring at my watch, tapping my foot, get in your dingy and get to paddling my brother.
In conclusion this has been my year so far, I know it is a few weeks left, praying these remaining weeks stay calm and steady. Now I am not gone hit you with oh my resolution is this and that, new year, new me rhetoric and nothing is wrong with doing that.
2016 Action speaks louder that words, and you may have noticed the name change again, well this is the final time so going forward, I ask to those of you who read this blog to continue this ride with me.
We have a long way to go and some fun ahead............