Single, Black & Female: The dating fiasco

I am a blog lover, seven days a week I am reading a blog its the greatest thing that happen to the Internet. Majority of the blogs I read is geared towards African American female readers and in these blogs there are numerous posts about the dilemma of the single black female in America. This topic has been done to death, and most them has the tone of its all our faults that we are single. According to the authors the black woman problem is: she overweight, she has a attitude problem, standards are two  high, too independent, needs to date outside her race, so on and so forth. And the majority of the authors who post these blogs are men because they understand what it is like to be  a woman and feel they need to tell us its all our fault that we are single and that we are going to die that way. I say that is a crock of shit, yes I am single, i would love to meet a great guy and spend my life with him, but the dice don't always roll that way. It will happen when its time, in the mean time, I work on myself and be the best person I can be. Yes I am overweight and is in the process of working on that, but that's not why I am single, just not my time to be in a relationship. I don't have attitude problem, I don't know even how to roll my neck and I don't snap my fingers after getting a point across. Actually I am quite and laid back, I don't like confrontation, but that does not mean you can walk over me. My standards are not that high really, I just want to be able to have a good conversation, a man that is focused whether its getting his degree, building a business, buying a  home he has to be focused on something good. I am not a gold digger I will never go after man for his money. But being employed is very important and having your own is too whether you live in apartment or house please let it be your own. I don't ask for much; yes i am independent and to be honest its out of necessity and fear. The necessity of being independent is very important, a woman should always be able to take care of herself in or out of a relationship regardless, If I marry a millionaire tomorrow and he leaves next the day I will be okay. Being Independent out fear comes from childhood. I come from a single parent family unfortunately my father was not a provider to my mother or me and siblings. Coming from a single parent house I learned the importance of independence and doing for self and not depending on others to do for me. So me sitting around waiting on prince charming to show up on his horse it not going to happen. I have needs and wants that don't have time, just being honest. I speak for myself when I say this, dating outside my race has never been issue for me, I am all for it, if I meet a man and we click and he happens to be from another race so be it. But if I choose to date within my race only I shouldn't  be scolded for doing so. No one should be forced to do what they don't want to do. And to say that dating outside the race will solve all single black female problems, is ignorant and careless. Because at the end of the day loving someone comes from a organic place. Whether he is black, white, orange or maroon I love him because I love him simple as that. What I am getting at is that everybody situation is different many of us are single for different reasons, I don't think it that serious to be debated over and over again. To my sistas out there of all colors and creeds. Learn to love and accept your self as the wonderful person that you are first and for most and let love find you, it will happen be patient.


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